A New Beginning
by AddisonBethNovak
Summary: What happens after Crowley knifes Meg? Don't read if you haven't seen season 9 of Supernatural. Megstiel. Please review, this is my first story and I want everybody's opinions.
1. Pizza

"I pray to Castiel to come aid me in my quest….and bring pizza. Amen" She couldn't believe she was actually doing this, but Meg had done other things that were far crazier and for dumber reasons. Wondering if it would even work she walked around her new apartment eyeing the boxes that were still left to unpack. Most of it consisted of odds and ends she had picked up in her demon days, she had crammed a storage unit full over the years but it still wouldn't be enough to make this place feel like home. Not that she knew what having a home felt like, she'd been on the run so long she'd forgotten. But she was almost positive something was missing. Pausing by a stack of boxes she took out a bottle of wine and uncorked it not bothering to pour it into a glass.

Meg walked to her new bathroom and looked at her new body in the mirror. She didn't know how it happened only that she was glad that it did. After Crowley knifed her, Meg had been….well there's really no other way to say it, saved. She was no longer a demon and was given a body that was her own. It was just different enough that no one would recognize her but not so different that she couldn't see herself or at least the body of the woman she had possessed for so long. She was slightly taller and slimmer now her hair was a rich chocolate brown with red tones throughout. Her eyes were the same, her lips a little fuller. Meg had to admit she was hot. She took another swig from her bottle and went back to the living room.

When she entered the living room there was a knock at her door, not knowing what to expect she grabbed a knife she had taped to the underside of a coffee table and approached the door cautiously. Turning the knob and easing the door open slowly she peeked into the hallway. Castiel stood at her door in all his trench coated glory holding three pizza boxes and a six pack.

"I didn't know what kind you liked, so I got cheese, pepperoni, and Hawaiian? I don't know what that means but, I understand it has something to do with pineapple and not actual Hawaiians."

Stunned Meg stepped aside and held the door open for him. He ambled in, careful not to teeter his leaning pile of pizza boxes. He set them on the kitchen island that helped to separate the kitchen from the living room.

"I'm not sure who would want pineapple on their pizza but its popular-"his sentence was cut short by Meg throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing him tight. He put his arms around her awkwardly and patted the top of her head. Breaking the hug, Meg stepped back, her arms still around his waist and laughed.

"Still can't give a decent hug huh Clarence?"

"Let me try again, you caught me off guard." He pulled her slim figure to him and held her pressed against his chest, his cheek resting on the top of her head.

"This better?" he whispered into her hair.

"Mmmmhmm." She sighed against his neck. "You've learned…. I didn't think you would come." It was his turn to take a step back. He looked her clearly confused.

"Why would you think that?"

"I didn't even know if you were alive, let alone if you had the time to teleport over here just because I asked you to." Meg dropped her arms from around Castiel and went over to the pizza boxes searching till she found the one that had the pepperoni. She pulled out a slice and tore of a bite, giving herself a reason to not talk. She chewed slowly hoping that Castiel would break the awkward silence that had settled over them. Thankfully he did.

"Your voice is the same, but the rest of you is different, not by much but enough." Not knowing how to react to that she continued to eat her pizza and look at her purple polished toes.

"You're still beautiful Meg." That made her smile. It had been a little over a year since she'd seen Castiel and she had missed his bluntness. She had spent a lot of her time with humans trying to get back into the swing of being one. It was hard trying to hide who'd she had been for over two hundred years, and it was nice to just let her guard down and be herself. Even though she wasn't the same hard cold woman she'd once been. She felt more, she had learned to bite her tongue and try to keep from hurting peoples' feelings. In some ways she loved who she had become, in other ways she absolutely loathed it. Some days she longed to maim and torture the people that irritated her or just looked her at her in the wrong way. But she couldn't and wouldn't. She wasn't that abomination anymore. And suspected that she hadn't been since she started having feelings for a certain angel with blazing blue eyes and a past more twisted and screwed up than hers. Sure she had aided in trying to end the world, but he had actually let loose an army of unkillable monsters from purgatory and managed to get all the angles booted from heaven. The big difference was that Cas was trying to do good, Meg now knew everything she had done was for wrong.

"You don't look so bad yourself." She supplied peeking up at him from under her long lashes. "I've missed you. Missed being around someone who knows who I really am."

"And who is that? A woman who's literally been through Hell and back or the demon?" That caught her off guard, another side effect of being around humans too long. Meg thought about her answer while searching around the apartment for her bottle of wine. Meg knew she wouldn't be able to deal with this night sober. She found it, knocked over and empty by the coffee table. She must have done it while grabbing the knife when Castiel had knocked. Cursing herself silently she returned to the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

"Why are you pouting? Is it because of the question I asked?" Castiel asked, genuinely concerned.

"No, I dumped my last bottle of wine. Why would you think you have the ability to make me pout? Also, where did you learn that because I honestly think that might be the most hilarious thing you have ever said." She was giggling, maybe she had drank more of than bottle than she thought.

"Dean asked me why I was 'pouting' the night Crowley ran you through with that knife. He didn't know I had just buried the body of the girl you were possessing. Also Sam said something about you calling me your 'unicorn', whatever that means, wait-… are unicorns Hawaiian?" He was going off about pineapples, unicorns and pizza but Meg wasn't listening. He had buried her? 'Pouted' for her?Not wanting to dwell on her conflicted feelings, Meg pounced on the opportunity to talk about anything else, even if it was the Winchesters.

"How are Moose and Deanno?"

"Living in a top secret bunker in Kansas, Sam just recovered from the trials and expelling an angel from his body. Dean is….dealing with his own demons…as usual." Castiel froze up at the mention of the Winchesters, so apparently there was trouble in paradise.

Grabbing two beers from the six pack Cas bought she left the safety of her kitchen island and ventured closer to Castiel offering him the bottle she held in her hand. He took and deftly popped the top off using the side of the counter. Impressed, Meg handed him her beer to open. Silence settle between them again, it was uncomfortable which was strange. Meg had taken care of Castiel after he had taken in the task of dealing with Sam's delusions from when he was in hell and there had never been any awkwardness between them since. Something had shifted since she died, Meg couldn't quite figure out what, but she was determined to not let it affect them.

Castiel was conflicted. Standing across the room from Meg, things were different now, Meg was different. Cas had been human for a time and new what it was like to have all those emotions swirling inside him. He had come to realize though it was those feelings that made people so strong. But Meg was different. She'd been a demon longer than she had ever been human, and now she was human again, trying to fit in and make it all work. She seemed so soft to him, so unsure of herself now. He should have never come. Should have let her live her life as normally as she could. She deserved that at least. She could be in danger if Metatron found out who she really was and what she meant to Castiel. He could have been followed, they could be watching them right now. The very thought set him on edge. He started looking around the apartment scanning it for the easiest exits in case he had to get Meg out fast. While he looked he noticed Meg smiling at him.

"What?" he asked confused.

Her smile faltered at his tone. Unsure again. Something the demoness would have never felt. Determined to wipe all the negative emotions out if her system Meg began drinking the beer faster. One down and she felt a little fuzzy, braver now. She started up the stereo she had recently bought and tuned in a country station. A fast paced number streamed from the speakers she had put up all around the apartment. Castiel frowned. The expression wasn't missed by the former demon.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not used to this sort of music." He replied simply. He was still frowning when Meg noticed his leg moving and looking down she saw he was tapping his foot to the beat.

"I know it's not harps and horns or the guitar of some long dead rock band. But what do you think?" she couldn't help but smile at his perplexed expression, like country music was something he just couldn't quite grasp.

"It's different, but I think I like it. It's…..soothing." Megs smile widened. That was exactly how she felt. Leaving him to ponder the lyrics of the next song she went about unpacking more boxes and drinking. She enjoyed his company, it was nice to have someone else in her apartment. She'd lived there for about 4 months and never had any visitors. Not even her neighbors. It took her up until last week to get her boxes from storage. None of her stuff could be used to make the apartment like a home but she still needed to go through it and figure out what she should keep and what she should get rid of or sell. Cas was the perfect person to have around for that, she didn't know what half the shit was anyway. But it was all powerful. He should be able to tell what's what.

"So are you going to tell me why you were pouting earlier?" Cas asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Okay…. I was 'pouting' because I'm not sure how to answer any of the things you've asked. Being human is hard after what I was for so long. I feel so much now. Most days I just want to curl up in my bed and stay there. But then i realize I'm turning into someone the old Meg would have killed without a second thought, so I get up and take a shower, brush my teeth and go to my meaningless job. And you want to know why I push myself so hard? Because of you. You made me want to be better. And now that I have this chance to make up for some the bad I've done I'm going to take it. I didn't know if you were alive or dead but I did know you wouldn't want me to wallow in my pathetic self-loathing. You would want me to be happy. So, I'm trying." She said the last bit in a rush afraid if she didn't say it fast she wouldn't say it all.

After finally getting that off her chest Meg stormed back to the island grabbed two beers cracked one, downed it in record time and opened the other. She didn't want to look at him. She was ashamed of showing her weakness. Shame, another lovely human emotion she felt constantly. She felt it for what she'd been and done and for who she was becoming. She quickly wiped the ears from her cheeks. It was too much.


	2. Conflicted

By the time Meg turned around Castiel was right behind her, concern evident all over his face and in his eyes. He pulled her to him once again and held her tight. His hand making small circles in the center of her back.

Castiel had never been good at comforting people. In fact he usually ended up making them feel worse. But when it came to Meg he didn't screw up as often. He seemed to instinctually know what she needed and when she needed it. All he wanted was to make her happy and keep her safe. He would never tell her any of that of course. Meg didn't go for the "touchy feely self-help yoga crap" as Dean called it. Or at least the old Meg didn't. He wasn't so sure about this new one. He was just about to tell her how much she meant to him when he heard footsteps in the hallway outside the apartment. Meg heard them too apparently because her whole body tensed. She removed herself from Castiel's arms and crept towards the door silently. Cas admired the way she moved, smooth a lithe like jungle cat stalking its prey. Evidently the huntress was still inside her. Some habits were hard to break.

Meg stealthily moved towards the knife she had left on her coffee table. She was being paranoid, she knew that. But her apartment was at the very end of the hallway, nobody came down this way but her. Better to be safe than sorry she guessed. And since Cas had showed up only God knew (literally) what could have followed him.

As she moved closer to the door Castiel was suddenly in front of her blocking her path.

"Did you acquire brain damage when you became human? If there's something dangerous on the other side of that door it could kill you. Permanently." He hissed at her, blues eyes storming. His whole demeanor had changed. His gentle tone was gone and he had the body language of a warrior ready for battle. Moving quicker than she could see and silently at that, Castiel went to the door and peered through the little peephole. He turned back to her and motioned for her to head down the hallway. Meg did as she was told, and looking down at herself realized she was not dressed for a fight anyway. Pajama shorts and a sweatshirt didn't provide much protection from knives, bullets, salt rounds or angel blades. Running as quietly as she could to her bedroom, she went to her closet and pulled out a pair of jeans a long sleeved V-neck sweater and her combat boots. Slipping into the clothes as quickly as possible listening all the while for the sound of her door being kicked in. Using all the time she had to her advantage she dove under the bed and pulled out a long metal box 2 feet wide and a foot and a half deep.

When she flipped open the lid, she heard the crack shattering of splintered wood from the living room. There goes my deposit he thought flippantly as she pulled out two guns, a boot knife and long hunting knife. She slipped the boot knife into her combat boot and strapped the hunting knife to her thigh. She then pulled out her leather jacket from her demon days from the bottom of the trunk, grabbed the two pistol off the bed and headed toward the commotion coming from the living room.

Thankfully only two assailants were in her house. One pawing through her boxes the other being wailed on by Castiel. She grabbed the one going through the boxes spun him around pistol whipped him across the face. He went down but came right back up his eyes turning the color of tar, a demon. Meg backed up and stumbled into the coffee table, the man smiled at her mistake and advanced on her. Using his oncoming momentum against him Meg grabbed for her hunting knife at he exact moment he went to grab her and succeeded in plunging he blade hilt deep into his chest between the ribs. His eyes went wide and his moth dropped open, black smoke came billowing up and out from his throat as the demon went in search of a new body to possess.

Getting to her feet Meg whirled around searching for Cas, she found him sitting on the floor by counter watching her. The other man lying in a puddle of blood over by the window.

"Thanks for the help you mighty warrior you." She said sarcastically. Castiel just stood and looked her dead in the eyes.

"You would have been mad if I tried to help you. So I sat back and watched, I was prepared to assist you if I had to but you did well enough on your own, even without the demon strength and speed." Meg knew he was right. She didn't need a protector. She knew hundreds of ways to kill and torture, granted when she was walking around as servant of hell it was easier because she had all the power of a demon. Looking around the apartment to assess the damage she noticed the guy she had stabbed dropped something after she hit him across the face with her gun. It looked like a manacle. It was rusted and stained with what he suspected was blood. Little scratches adorned it edges. They almost look like engravings but she couldn't be sure.

"I don't think they were working together." Cas said from behind her.

"What makes you say that?"

"Look at their clothes, the one going through the boxes looks like a hobo, and this one here is wearing a business suit." He replied simply as though it was obvious.

"Sorry I didn't have the time to do a Project Runway evaluation of their wardrobe while I was fighting for my life." She huffed at him.

"You couldn't smell that one?" he pointed to the grubby dead man slumped over Megs coffee table. Meg started to laugh, she had to. It was such a Castiel thing to say. And the guy did reek now that meg was paying attention.


	3. Fight and Flight

"Well that raises some questions, if they weren't together how'd they find me? Or was the angel after you?" Meg was confused, and starting to panic. If Crowley had sent that demon that meant he knew she was alive and wanted her back. Dropping the manacle on the counter she went back to her bedroom.

Cas followed Meg down the hallway curious to see what she was doing. When he reached the bedroom he found her throwing clothes into a worn leather duffel bag that was open on the bed. He couldn't help but notice the décor of her room.

It was the largest room in the apartment with a walk in closet and a door leading to what he assumed was a bathroom. There was nothing adorning the walls. She had a simple bookshelf along one wall and it was fully stocked, he smiled as read some of the titles. _Harry Potter and the Prisoner Azkaban, The Da Vinci Code,_ and even a couple of sappy looking romance novels. He never considered that Meg liked to read.

He straightened up after assessing the bookcase and noticed that her bed was meticulously made. All the blankets straight and folded neatly, their corners tucked tightly under the mattress. The bed spread was a deep purple satin with matching pillows. It looked very comfortable. Next to the bed was a small nightstand with a lamp and a book with a marker sticking out. Eager to see what book Meg was currently engrossed in he casually made his way to the head of the bed and glanced down. He had to bite back the laugh the threatened to escape. It was a Supernatural novel written by none other than Carver Eldund, or Chuck to the angels. A former prophet that Castiel had the pleasure of meeting a few years back before the Archangels did only God knew what to the poor man for helping Dean avert the apocalypse.

"So you enjoy works of a fictional nature?" He asked her gesturing to her bookcase. Meg shrugged.

"It helps to pass the time. I don't have much of a social life Clarence."

"And what about this one?" he picked up the Carver Edlund novel, smiling knowingly at her.

"Hey, I'm in that one!"

Flipping the book over and reading the summary he found that she was right. It was indeed a story featuring Meg heavily. She was still packing the bag. Now going through the drawers of a dresser he hadn't noticed before. She was taking handfuls of different colored lace out of the drawers and putting in the bag. It took a second for Castiel to realize it was her underwear. Sadly, it was second too late, she had seen him staring.

"See anything you want to try on? Though I'm not sure that you father would approve." She scoffed holding up a pair of sky blue lace panties and shaking them at him. Cas turned red and looked at his shoes. He couldn't help the thoughts that started to stir in his mind. All he could see was Meg wearing nothing but those blue panties, her hazel eyes burning dark with desire for him. He shook himself a little to dislodge those thoughts. This wasn't the time or place for such things. She was clearly getting ready to run.

"Where will you go?" he asked already knowing what she would say.

"Far from here. If Crowley knows where I am than it's only a matter of time before he stops sending his stunt doubles and comes himself. I, intend to make it that much more difficult for him by doing the one thing I'm a good at, or rather _one_ of the things I'm good at." She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

This was the Meg Cas knew. Confident, strong, and a smart ass. Apparently almost getting her throat cut had awakened a part of herself she had forgotten or suppressed. Again the image of her naked flashed briefly in his mind's eye. He now knew why it was so hard for Dean and Sam to focus on a case sometimes when there was a woman around. They were distracting. Not that he wasn't attracted to April, the reaper he "gave it up to" as Dean so eloquently put it. But what he felt for Meg was different. If he let it, it would consume his every thought. Dictate his actions, and because of that he had to keep his feelings for her at arm's reach. He knew she knew how he felt, or at least some of it. The lust part he guessed.

"I can take you somewhere that you can stay and not have to worry about Crowley getting at you." Meg heard the words and processed them slowly. Crowley could get anywhere, he was the king of hell for Christ sake.

"What are you talking about?" But realizing that her bee keeper would never place her harm's way, especially now that she was human, she decided the back story could wait. Realizing he was about to answer she interrupted him before he could start.

"Actually, shut up, I don't care, just take me there and explain it when I don't have to worry about satanic bloodhounds chewing on my ass." She said grabbing her duffel bag. She'd had the essentials packed for months. A small bag for her hair products, toothbrush and paste, deodorant, perfume, and her makeup must haves. Not that she actually needed the makeup. However, it helped make her feel like a normal human woman. Castiel waked toward her and placed his pointer and middle finger on her forehead.

"Her name is Juliet." Everything went black for the former demoness.

When Meg opened her eyes it was still dark and she was standing on a metal platform next to a door that was encased in concrete on all sides. It looked like some sort of bunker. She turned to ask Cas where the hell they were when he put a finger to his lips to silence her. He banged his fist on the door three times then waited for a brief second and knocked four more times.

After a few minutes of waiting Meg turned around to see what else was around, she noticed a black car parked a ways down the hill the door sat on. It was a 67 Impala. Then she heard the thump of boots on metal. She whipped back around to face Castiel. Her face one of total and complete rage.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" she hissed at him. He backed away a step expecting to see her eyes turn black as the night around them. Meg heard the door open and turned towards the sound, and found herself nose to nose with none other than Sam Winchester.

 _He really brought me to the Winchesters? Oh… if I was still a demon I would tear his wings off and feed them to him!_ Meg was seething. All she wanted to do was run back up the stairs and get the hell out of here. She didn't need the Winchesters help. But they always seemed to need hers. Granted she had possessed Sam for a time but that was ages ago, but they would not let her forget it. She stood next to a table a little bit behind Cas she didn't want to be in full view in case Sam recognized her and decided to stab her. For the moment though it seemed like he had no idea who she was or why Castiel had brought a random girl into the Bat Cave. He was staring between Meg and Castiel clearly confused. But ever the polite guy that he was Sam reached out a hand to introduce himself to the pretty auburn haired girl standing awkwardly by the angel.

"Hi I'm Sam." He smiled at her. Meg had to literally bite her tongue to keep from laughing. She took his hand and shook it but didn't give him her name. Sam looked questioningly at Castiel as if asking him if Meg could speak at all.

"She knows who you are Sam. You two have met before." Castiel supplied clearly enjoying how awkward Sam was feeling.

Sam sat at the table looking at the girl, there was something familiar about her. He knew he knew her but he couldn't place it. He and Dean had met a lot of people over the years, Sam had met even more people when he was hunting with the Campbell's, maybe that's where he knew her from. That year was still a little hazy for him to this day.

"We have?"

"Oh, multiple times. We actually go way back Moose." She smiled at him. It clicked.

"Meg." Sam jumped up from the table and grabbed the demon killing knife from his waistband. He lunged toward the demon ready to sink the blade into her chest. Cas caught his arm and threw him back into the table.

"How can you react that way to her when all she has done is help you for the last 3 years? If anything she deserves a damn thank you, not a knife to the gut." Castiel was fuming at the younger Winchester. Sam was usually the level headed one, he had expected that Dean would react that way but not Sam.

Sam was taken aback. He rarely made Cas angry, that was more Deans department. He put the knife down and out his hands up in surrender.

"You're right Cas, Meg I'm sorry."

"It's alright Sammie, I know old habits die hard." Meg replied sweetly sitting down in the seat Cas had vacated. She propped her feet up on the table and waited patiently for the tension to break. It felt nice that Castiel had defended her. It wasn't something that happened to her, ever.

Sam relaxed and sat across from Meg, Castiel stood protectively over Meg even though he was sure Sam wasn't going to pounce again but that didn't mean Dean wouldn't pop out and try to shoot her. Almost as if Meg could hear his thoughts Meg asked where Dean was.

"Looking for Abbadon with Crowley." Sam answered somewhat reluctantly. Cas knew Sam didn't know Meg was human and he had always hated her ever since she possessed him and used his body to torture Jo. Thinking it would be better to get it over with he told Sam about Meg being human.

"What do you mean she's human? How does that even happen?" Sam demanded sure that Cas was just buying one of Megs many lies. The angel had always been slightly enamored by the psychopathic demon. Sam didn't have a clue why. Sure the bodies she possessed we always beautiful women but they weren't really Meg. Her real body was dust. And her personality was prickly to say the least.

"It's true Sam, she has a soul. That's her body. She doesn't have any scars on her. That's a brand new body made specifically for her." Castiel told him. He knew it was true, he could still sense some angelic grace inhabiting her blood. The powers above had done this for her. What they didn't know was why. Was it a game Metatron was playing? Did he do this to distract Castiel or was he going to use Meg to hurt the blue eyed angel? Or was it something else entirely that they had yet to imagine?

 **A/N- Hey y'all! Thanks for checking out my attempt at a story. Let me know what you think, if you have any questions or ideas you would like to see incorporated into this story. XoXo A.B.N**


	4. Drunk Dial

Meg yawned, looking at his watch and seeing it was almost four in the morning Castiel told Sam he and Meg would be sharing the room at the end of the hall for the time being. Sam wasn't used to being told what to do by Cas so he just sat back and watched as Castiel took Megs bag and ushered her down the hall towards the sleeping quarters. Sam smirked to himself when he noticed Meg just following and not putting up a fight. Apparently she still had a thing for the angel. He also noticed how Cas seemed to have changed since finding Meg again. He seemed stronger and more sure of himself. Because that always turned out dandy. Deciding he had better things to do than sit around contemplating an angel's love for a demon, scratch that, former demon turned human, he pulled out his cell phone and walked out of the bunker.

Once above ground again Sam punched Dean's number into his phone. Dean picked up on the third ring.

"What Sam?" Dean was clearly aggravated. It was pretty late after all.

"I know it's late and I'm sorry Dean but this couldn't wait for breakfast." Sam apologized.

"Really? Because I just nodded off 20 minutes ago and that was after finishing a bottle so make this snappy, ok?" his words were slurred so badly Sam could barely make out what he was saying.

"OK. Cas showed up around 3 with Meg. Oh and she's human now. Sweet dreams." Sam hung up and waited. Around a minute later his phone started to ring.

"Took you long enough."

"I told you I finished a bottle."

"A bottle of what?" Sam asked, knowing his brother had an extremely high tolerance when it came to alcohol and any liquor that could put him in such a stupor had to be high octane.

"I don't know… hold on." Sam heard a crash and the clinking of many glass bottles and a muffled "I'm ok just fell off the bed." Then a loud scratching noise and Dean was back.

"Its called..uh…even, no Everclear. 100 percent pure grain alcohol. Guy at the store told me they don't even sell it some states."

"Dean, you could pour that in the Impala and drive it. It's like gas."

"Hmmm… I might try that." Dean mumbled stupidly. "Wait shut up, what were you saying about Cas and unless I'm so drunk I'm hallucinating you said Meg?"

"Yea I did, but I'm also thinking with how drunk you are you might have actually hallucinated at some point tonight." Sam scoffed.

"Whatever, bigger problems Sam. How'd she become human? You checked right? Salt, silver, holy water the whole shebang? "

"Well I would have if Cas had let me get near her. He is convinced she's legit. Actually almost threw me through a table to make his point." Sam recalled, rubbing his lower back where it had struck the table edge.

"Where are they now?"

"Sharing the room at the end of the hall. Right next to yours." Sam heard a groan, then nothing but dial tone. Dean had hung up.

Meg followed Cas down one of the many hallways the led away from the "war room" to what seemed to be a bedroom. She looked around at the sparse institution-like walls and sighed. This was her new home for the time being. But, she was pretty sure she had seen prison cells with better décor. Her apartment hadn't been much but it was better than the cinder block windowless walls she was surrounded by now. One double bed, a desk and a lamp. That was it. On the bright side, she wasn't alone now.

Castiel watched as Meg surveyed the room. **His** room. He felt strangely nervous. He wanted her to like it here, but he knew Meg, she would hate staying at the Men of Letter headquarters. She would hate **him** for bringing her here. Dropping her bag on the bed he waited for her to unleash on him like she usually did when she was upset with him. Meg was the only one who treated him like a person, not an alien creature who could freak out and destroy them if they said the wrong thing. Well besides Deana but he usually just used Cas as an emotional doormat, whatever unpleasant feeling he was dealing with if the angel was around Dean threw all his frustration, anger or whatever else at him. Unexpectedly she just got up and grabbed her bag and moved it from the bed to the desk.

"I get the left side." She said as she stripped out of her jeans and jacket. She was wearing nothing but purple satin panties and her sweater as she got underneath the covers.

"Angels don't sleep Meg." She rolled her eyes and proper herself up on her elbow letting out an exasperated sigh.

"But there is no commandment about how "thou shalt not cuddle' right?"

"Actually there is."

"Well why don't you come spoon with me and tell me all about it." she said around another yawn. Cas had seen many different sides of Meg, angry, vengeful, happy, and hurt. Tired Meg was by far his favorite and a side he'd never seen. When she was a demon she seemed to be possessed with a rabid, almost manic energy. Never slowing down, constantly moving. But human Meg kept surprising him. Her hand under her chin and her eyes drooping he couldn't keep the smile from forming on his lips. HE bent down and kissed her on the forehead. She closed her eyes and hummed at the contact. Deciding it couldn't hurt to lie in the bed with her, Castiel stripped off his trench coat and tie, kicked off his shoes and got into the bed. Meg turned her back on him, Castiel draped an arm over her blanket clad waist and pulled her to him so their bodies were flush against each other. He was pleasantly surprised by how well they fit together. His chin resting lightly on the top of her head and his arm around her.

"You still want to hear about the no cuddling commandment?" he whispered into her hair.

"Mmmmm?" was her response. Sitting up a little he looked own and saw she was already falling asleep. He grinned to himself and laid his head back down. He could get used to this.

 **A/N- Seems to be a getting a little AU but that happens, but I'm trying to stick to the storyline. Ish. Also sorry it's so short, but I like to try to update weekly so here it is. And hey a drunk dial from Dean you can't go wrong with that. I want to thank the people who have followed and favorited, you're why I do this! XoXo A.B.N**

 **P.s- Thinking about changing the rating to M and adding some nookie…let me know if it seems like a good idea…**


	5. Confessions

When Meg woke up the light was still on but she was alone in the bed. She sat up and looked around. The room was exactly as it was the night before. Leaning over the side of the bed she picked up her jeans from the pile she had left them in the night before and pulled them on. Was it the night before? She wasn't sure how long she'd been sleeping. There were no windows to judge what time of day it was and she had left her cellphone in her apartment. Meg mentally kicked herself for such a carless mistake. What she did know was that she felt rested and hungry. The hunger thing was a pain in the ass. She used to eat when she was a demon but it was mainly for something to do. Now she did it because she had to. Granted she liked food. Quickly finding out that breakfast was her favorite meal, who could hate on bacon?

Walking over to the desk and opening her bag, Meg rooted around for her hair brush. Pushing her clothes, knives and guns aside, her fingers brushed against something cold, like burn your fingertips with frostbite cold. Using a shirt to grab it she pulled the metal object from the depths of the bag. It was the manacle the demon that broke into her house had been after. Strangely enough, Meg couldn't remember grabbing it. She set it dropped it on the desk, the cold had quickly seeped into through the thin cotton t-shirt she was using as a glove and was making her palm sting. Maybe Castiel had put it in her bag. Unfortunately her tree topper was M.I.A at the moment.

Finding her brush she quickly raked it through her chestnut hair. She needed to find a bathroom, Mother Nature was calling, a feeling she feared she'd never get used to. It was too strange, and the urgency of the simple bodily function was maddening.

When she opened the door to Castiel's room the smell of bacon and eggs hit her in the face and made her mouth water. Her need for a bathroom forgotten, Meg followed her nose further into the maze of hallways that made up the Winchesters secret hideout, she found herself in the kitchen.

Dean stood with his back to her at huge old fashioned cast iron stove making what could only be described as a buffet style breakfast. Heaps of eggs, a pile of bacon and a huge hill of hash browns, and a pitcher of orange juice sat on the old wooden table in the center of the spacious room.

Sam was digging into eggs when he noticed Meg hovering in the doorway. She looked scared almost like she was thinking about running away but at the same time staring at the food on the table.

Sam immediately felt sorry for her. Which was entirely new for him considering it was Meg. She didn't want to be here but according to Cas she didn't have anywhere else to go. And she looked hungry. That was a human thing right? Demons didn't lust after bacon and eggs, but humans did. When she saw Sam looking at her Meg took a step back into the hallway and turned to go.

"Meg, don't. Come in here, have something to eat." Sam offered standing up to go after in case she still decided to bolt.

"Yeah you got to be hungry, you've been sleeping for the last two days." Dean said from the stove. Meg looked shocked. So was Sam if he was being honest with himself. Dean hated Meg more than he did.

"And I didn't cook all this just for it to sit here, so get your ass in here and get a plate." Sam smiled. Apparently his brother decided to accept Meg whole heartedly.

Dean turned off the stove and looked at the new Meg. She was cute he decided, not his type exactly but to each their own. And hey if the man upstairs forgave her and turned her human who was he to judge. He'd done some really messed up crap but people always forgave him. She was part of a bigger picture, so why not try to make it work. Another ally couldn't hurt. And as much as he hated to admit it Meg was smart, a good fighter and loyal dammit. The girl would, and has in the past, walked through fire for what she believed in. And for the last couple years what she believed in,was them. Well specifically Cas but she hadn't been against him and Sam for a while. He was currently working with Crowley to track down Abbadon so he really couldn't say no to Castiel bringing Meg in. But if Crowley found out she was here there would be hell to pay, literally. He also promised Cas he wouldn't kill the bitch even though the urge was still there. Sure this girl didn't look like Meg, not really, but Dean was willing to bet that her being human didn't change her snarky personality. He promised he wouldn't kill her but that didn't mean he wasn't going to test her and make sure everything was kosher. Forcing breakfast on her like he was okay with her being in his home seemed like a good way to earn her trust.

Sitting down at the table he watched out of the corner of his eye as Meg started to pile bacon on her plate, next was the home fries, and finally a tiny portion of eggs. Settling into her seat she picked up a fork made of pure silver. Dean waited to see if her flesh would sizzle on contact. It didn't. She took a bite of the fried potatoes tentatively, like she was waiting for them to explode. Dean smirked to himself. Meg being so paranoid and jumpy was amusing. Like a mouse skirting around a cat. Her eyes darted between him and Sam so fast he was surprised she wasn't getting dizzy.

Apparently realizing she wasn't in any immediate danger she settled into her seat and started eating like she hadn't had a decent meal in months. She inhaled the eggs and started shoveling the potatoes into her mouth without shame. Same old Meg. Just as he suspected. Personality wise anyway. The silver fork proved she wasn't a shifter but he had other traps at the ready on the table. One of them being orange juice laced with holy water. Sam knew of his plan of course and rejected it. He was too trusting, Dean had known that for that last five years. He had no qualms about trusting demons. Unless you counted Crowley. Sam just couldn't believe the king of hell was on their side. But if Dean was to be completely truthful with himself he had the feeling that the "master of the hounds" had his own reasons for dragging Dean to Canes beehive. Not that Dean really cared, if the mark of Cane helped him to kill Abbadon and if he could carve up the winged ass monkey Metatron too he would consider that a good day.

Dean picked up the pitcher of orange juice and poured himself a glass, he waved the glass canter between Sam and Meg as an offering. Meg raised her hand sheepishly and Dean smiling more to himself than anybody filled her glass too. Dean loaded his fork and brought it to his only to frown at it and put it back down.

"Meg, how long have you been back?" he questioned.

"About a year, a little less. Since May actually. Why? Not to be rude but you don't really strike me as the one on this room to care about where I've been." She answered, the last bit of her reply laced with a heavy amount of sarcasm.

"Nice _silver_ ware, by the way." She put emphasis on the first syllable. Dean smirked. She was more perceptive than he thought. That's why she was jumpy, she knew there had to be traps everywhere for her. So much for gaining her trust.

"You caught me. There's holy water in the orange juice too, so, if you wouldn't mind," he gestured for her to take a drink. She obliged, actually she took a good long drink and when she set her glass back down there was only a quarter of the orange juice left. She licked and smacked her lips for effect.

"Satisfied?" she asked in a falsely sweet tone Dean nodded. Sure he was satisfied, for now. Dean chewed his breakfast slowly, his head buzzing with questions. Meg came back in May, right about the time the angels fell. Could she have been an angel? No that was too crazy. Wasn't it? Dean threw his fork down in frustration, got up from the table and stormed out of the room.

"He is really struggling with this huh?' Meg asked Sam with raised brows before popping a piece of bacon in her mouth.

"Well can you blame him? Most of the time when people come back into our lives from the dead it's usually a precursor to some apocalyptic event. He's just trying to wrap his head around it. That's all." Sam replied quietly.

"Me being back is the apocalyptic event." Meg joked.

She was doing the breakfast dishes (Dean had come bursting in saying he needed Sam and since she was staying there she might as well make herself useful and do the dishes) when she felt him, Cas, he was back in the bunker. Some part of her had sensed his presence and it had brought a smile to her lips despite the task at hand. Meg despised household chores. That's why she had made sure that her apartment had come with a dishwasher and as soon as she could, had bought one of those robotic vacuum cleaners. But since she was staying here and didn't have anything else to do she had gathered all the dishes and tipped them into the sink, not really caring if one broke, and began the extremely menial task of washing them clean. It made her remember the first time she was human back in 1690. Granted the water was hot and she didn't need to lug them to the nearest river, but it was a pain in the ass all the same. Luckily she was done by the time Castiel had made it to the kitchen.

"What took you so long?" she asked not turning to look at him.

"What do you mean? I just got back."

"I know, but why did it take you twenty minutes to find me? Is this place that massive?"

"No, I was accosted by Dean as soon as I walked through the door."

"He really doesn't want me in his Bat Cave." She said it like fact, not a question, because it was.

"He may not want you here but I do, and thankfully my opinion still seems to matter to him, somewhat. And I told him if he didn't let you stay I was going to hurl him back to hell."

"How'd he take that? " Meg chuckled moving closer to the angel.

"He shut up, and promised not to kill you while I was away. Dean learned a long time ago not to, as he put it 'piss off the nerd angels'. " Castiel shrugged. Meg started to laugh. She couldn't help it. It struck her as hilarious that people were actually afraid of Cas. And that Dean was apparently one of them. She just could be afraid of him after the time they'd spent together in the looney bin. He'd been like a child then. Coloring and chasing butterflies. Laughing at Saturday morning cartoons, even though Meg was positive he didn't understand them fully. But he laughed all the same. He'd been happy, carefree. He'd made her smile, genuinely smile and feel something other than anger and resentment. That was when she'd fallen in love with him. Well as close to love as you get being a demon, which really boiled down to her wanting to own him. Keep him away from everybody else so he was just hers. Her own personal beam of sunshine that she could bask in whenever she pleased.

"Do I really mean that much to you Clarence?" she drawled, now right in front of him. His answer was to grab her around the waist and pull her to him roughly so she crashed against his chest, he then took her face in his hands and looked her dead in the eyes.

"No one has ever meant more to me than you do." He growled, eyes blazing passionately. It was then that Meg saw what the Dean must have seen when he refused to let Meg stay. A warrior, ready to fight to the death for what he wanted. He'd show no mercy to anyone or anything that tried to hurt her, which included the Winchesters. Her stomach fluttered and she felt her face get hot. She needed to get away from him. This was not how this was supposed to go. She didn't deserve him. He was an angel, someone that was pure. If he got involved with her more than he already was she would taint him. He would be more of an outcast than he already was. Dean would hate him, Sam would just act like he didn't exist and that wasn't fair. He didn't deserve to lose his family because of her. Though at the same time, more than anything, Meg wanted to melt there in his arms and say she would be his for eternity. That she felt like she became a demon so she could wait for him to come back to Earth and find her. Save her from what she had become. Instead she tore herself away from his embrace.

"That's sweet Castiel and we both know sweet is not my thing." She spat at him as she brushed by him on her way out of the kitchen not looking at him. She had to keep him at distance. He couldn't know he she really felt. If he did, he'd be lost forever.

Meg found Sam in the central part of the bunker, he was sitting at the same table as the night she got there, pouring over a thick leather bound book. God he was huge, he filled half the of the eight foot table by himself. Meg wrinkled her nose as she got closer, the book was giving off a distinct order. Musty, with a hint of decaying flesh.

"How can you read that? Isn't the smell making you sick?" she asked sitting across from him but leaning back slightly to distance herself from the foul smelling book.

"What do you mean? It smells like an old book, and I like old books." Sam snapped defensively.

"Like old books and rotting meat you mean." She shot back. Sam looked up, confused.

"You really can't smell that? It's like you put Hell in a library." Meg pinched her nose. If she let that smell pervade her nose much longer, memories she fought so hard to suppress would make their way to the surface. She didn't want to remember her multiple stays in Hell. Sam leaned in close to the pages, and inhaled a deep breath, which made Meg want to retch. She did shiver a little. Bringing his head back up, Sam shrugged at her and then continued to read.

"Can I ask you for a favor?" Meg asked with eyes cast down at the table top. She didn't want to see the exasperated expression on his face. Meg asking for a favor was like Hitler asking for favor in Sam's eyes.

"No but I'm pretty sure you're going to anyway."

"Is there another room I could use? One away from Clarence preferably." She confessed looking up at him.

"Yea, but why would you want a different room? Aren't you and Cas a thing?"

"Uh no, and why would you think that we were?"

"Unicorn." Sam replied looking at her with a slight smile.

"Oh you remember that." Meg wasn't sure what to say so she sat there looking at the wood grain.

"Yea I remember. Meg, why are you here with him if you don't want to be with him? I know you pretty well and if you don't want to do something you're not going to do it."

Again Meg was silent. She did want to be with Castiel more than she'd ever wanted anything and that included freeing Lucifer from Hell. She was just about to come clean with Sam when the slighty muffled, but still loud, crack of something shattering against hard surface reached their ears. Sam jumped up and headed off immediately to investigate the source of the noise. Meg knew what it was. A rejected male taking out his frustration on an inanimate object.

Castiel was fuming. Absolutely pissed at himself. He shouldn't have done that. He knew what would happen if he told her even a miniscule part of the truth, and she didn't disappoint him. She shut down. He'd watched the wall come up in her eyes. Saw the fear and felt her tense against him at his confession. She didn't want to hurt him. But what she didn't know was that not telling her was killing him. He'd had no choice, it came out without warning. One minute they were discussing Dean and the next he had her in his arms, rough hands on her soft face, looking as deep as he could into those beautiful green brown eyes, and the words just tumbled out. In the midst of his frustration he picked up a ceramic coffee cup from the counter and threw it at the wall causing a loud crack to reverberate through the bunker.

Cas was bent down and picking up the pieces of the shattered mug when Sam came bounding into the kitchen, eyes alert and body tense for a fight.

"It's okay Sam, I just um knocked this cup off the counter." He lied as he help up the tiny remnants of the destroyed cup. Sam smirked at him. He clearly knew there was more to the story.

"She rejected you didn't she?"

"How- how'd you know that?" Sam never ceased to surprise Castiel with his insight into literally every situation that was happening around him. Even if the guy couldn't figure out damn thing that was happening in his own life.

"Well there's the cup that you clearly just chucked at the wall, the fact that you look like someone took a dump on your bed, and…..she just asked me if there was an extra room away from yours." Sam said the last part in rush and broke eye contact. Castiel couldn't explain the emotions raging inside him. He was beyond hurt, angry, and he felt slightly betrayed. After everything he'd done and risked for her, and now she didn't want to be anywhere near him?

"She wants you Cas, maybe she always has. But she's afraid of what you'll lose for being close to her. You just can't take no for an answer. If she's what you want, then fight for her man." Sam walked out leaving him alone with his thoughts. 'You just can't take no for an answer', 'That's sweet Castiel and we both know that sweet isn't my thing'. The words kept repeating in his head, dancing little patterns across his brain as he went in search of Meg, his senses telling him she was near or in the bathroom. When he reached the doorway to Men of Letters communal showers he heard the water running. Perfect, he thought to himself as he stripped out of his clothes. Sweet wasn't her thing huh? Well he was going to show her just how bad he could be.

 **A/N- Hey! Sorry for the delay and any mistakes but I hope the length makes up for it. Also sorry for the cliffhanger there, except I'm not really ;) The more reviews I get the quicker I write…. XoXo A.B.N**


	6. Sexy Time

Meg stood under the spray of the shower letting the hot water soothe her tense muscles. The fight with hobo demon took more out of her than she thought. Not to mention the teleporting from New York to Kansas. She was glad she had thought to bring her cosmetics bag since all the Winchesters had for hygiene products were of the Irish Spring or Axe variety. Using her favorite coconut shampoo she washed and conditioned her hair and had started to wash up when she felt someone watching her.

Hands roughly grabbed her hips pulling her backwards into a hard muscled body. She was turned around and shoved against the cold tile wall, arms pinned above her head. She looked up into the hungry eyes of Castiel.

The Cas in her wildest fantasy didn't measure up to the man standing before her now. The water hitting the top of his head and cascading down his chest. Ebony hair plastered to his skull, and his eyes. The desire smoldering there was indescribable. Her breath caught in her throat as he leaned down toward her face, stopping a centimeter away and looking at her lips then her eyes and back again. Not asking for permission but as a warning of what was to come.

His mouth captured hers and in an instant it was like she was back in that abandoned prison with hell hounds trying to break down the door. Kissing Cas was like being shot up with Listerine, a pleasant burning with a tingly after feeling. Similair to having your entire body deep cleaned from the inside out. She had forgotten the sheer intensity of it. With her being human it felt as though every nerve was on fire, she was afraid her lips may have melted off already. But as suddenly as his mouth was on hers it was gone blazing a trail of kisses down her neck and across her collarbone. With her arms still above her head she couldn't do much more than whimper and try to get her arms free so she could touch him. When she had managed to get one arm free he quickly turned her so she was facing the wall never letting go of her other arm and twisting her other briefly free arm around behind her back. The pain excited her. Cas was never rough with her, the exact opposite actually, he acted like if he looked at her wrong she might break, especially in the last 24 hours.

She could feel him pressed into the small of her back. He was ready but he was teasing her. Well two can play that game. Moving slightly she positioned herself so she could grind her ass against him. He growled in her ear in response. The animalistic sound made her shiver. Then he laughed at her, a soft breathy chuckle, like he had her right where he wanted her. He let go of her arms and she whipped around to face him, her hair fanning out sending water drops everywhere. As he stared back at her she saw his eyes soften a bit.

Castiel looked into Megs hazel eyes and thought he was either the luckiest or stupidest creature in existence. She would be the death of him and he knew it. He shouldn't be doing this. He didn't know what would happen to her if they continued with this act that they were currently engaged in. he could kill her. But he'd gone to far to turn back now. Cas had to prove that he could be everything she wanted or needed. He had to be good enough for someone.

He looked down at her naked form. It was far more beautiful than he'd ever thought. Her breasts were big round and soft. Her waist was tiny flaring out to wide hips and a full firm ass. Whoever made her this body was very familiar with the female form. The water glistening off her pale skin made her look like some sea creature, a mermaid if he remembered correctly. But Ariel didn't have shit on Meg.

He lifted her up and she wrapped her long legs around his wait as he cupped her rear for leverage. He wanted to see the look in her eyes when he entered her for the first time. She seemed determined to look at anything but him. Her eyes darted from the walls to the ceiling and back again. He took her face in one hand gently and forced her to look into his eyes as he slowly pushed himself inside her. He felt some resistance but then it was gone and he entered her fully. Their pelvises were flush against each other. He watched her reaction and saw her eyes go big and then close. Her chest was heaving, it was a sight to behold. She shifted her hips a little and it allowed him to be able to move in and out of her at a faster pace. Castiel watched as Meg's eyes fluttered closed, mouth hanging open.

"Look at me!" he demanded in hoarse whisper and her eyes snapped open.

"Is this what you wanted? For me to unleash the monster I've kept caged?" She gave him smirk and raised an eyebrow.

"By monster, are you referring to your dick, or what we're currently doing?" she asked breathlessly.

"Both." He grunted slamming her back into the wall and pounding away at her while she shrieked and moaned into his shoulder. Her inner walls started to clamp around his shaft and he knew from his brief foray into human intercourse that it was a good thing. Dipping his head he took one of her tiny pink nipples into his mouth. It sent her over the edge. She started to buck her hips against him and literally scream as her orgasm ripped through her body

Dean heard the moans and screams coming from the bathroom and rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Really? They've been here 72 hours and they're christening our shower?"

"Dude, they've had it bad for each other for like, three years, we're lucky they held out for this long." Sam told his brother not looking up from his research. They had been digging around for anything that could help them understand how Meg came back. No luck so far.

"Whatever, they better Clorox it when they're done." snapped Dean.

Meg was surprised at how much losing her virginity would hurt. It was…uncomfortable at first. Regardless of how long she had been around Meg had never lost her virginity. She'd had sex, but she had been using the bodies of women that had already been there and done that so it hadn't caused her any discomfort. What she had just experienced with Castiel had been her first time in her own body. She had killed herself before she had the chance to lay with a man in her first life. Earning her a one way ticket downstairs. But to be fair, she wasn't going to marry a man she didn't love to just make her father happy and rich. Her legs ached, and her lady parts protested every time she moved even a little bit. She wouldn't have changed one second of it.

 **A/N- sorry it took so long and its also short, I was super nervous about this and I hope it doesn't suck too bad. Thanks again to everyone who has favorited or followed, your support means the world. Review please if you liked it or if you hated it I need to know! XoXo A.B.N**


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